Dad Blog v1: Words of Wisdom

Ok, here we go. I'm not sure what is going to come of this, but as I sit here waiting for our daughter to be born I had the idea, so let's see what happens. As usual, and some of you may know/figure about me, whenever I need an outlet I "take to the pen" as they say... which essentially means just writing to write and in today's day and age is more often than not a keyboard at my desk or on my phone/iPad. Today I'm on my phone ... in bed ... which is very relevant to the pet peeve I want to chat about.

Before we do that, I've been thinking a lot about how best to create some sort of gift for my daughter that she can look back on in many years to gain a little glimpse in to her life, especially during the years she won't remember. Clearly there are going to be many pictures, an Instagram hashtag, Facebook montage, etc. but I want to share with her beyond that. What I'm thinking, feeling, doing. I still think ill write to her as often as possible privately and personally, but also think there are going to many moments worth sharing publicly - funny, cute, amazing, crazy, and frustrating. Thus, here we are.

I want to start with the frustrating. This, I guess, is more of a "hey think before you speak" PSA to try and help everyone out here that is a parent, going to be a parent, or is ever at any point in their lives talking to one of the prior. I am just going to write as always and feel it may come off angry, but I'm not angry, just trying to enlighten some people how NOT to be an idiot. :) 

I know for a fact many people can relate to this as it's been laughed about with a lot of head shaking over the last few months. I also know at some point in my life I may have made a comment like this ... maybe you have too. I just now know to not do it and ask you to do the same. What am I talking about? Let's dive in.

Of course, when expecting, you'll get the usual questions:

1) when are you due?

2) do you know if it's a boy or girl?

3) do you have a name? Followed by, are you sharing that name?

Standard. Fine. For us, it's:

1) 4 days ago

2) girl

3) yes and no

That legit happens in that exact sequence at least 3x/day, sometimes an hour. Now I have 0 problem with those questions. Really I don't. Seriously, I think they are genuine, curious and legit and I will answer them all day long. It's not those questions, it's the extra color comments that kill me ... and one in particular.

"Ya better sleep now because you'll never sleep again!"

or

"Hope you're getting some rest because life will never be the same!"

Like, are you serious? Do you honestly truly think that we do not know that? Is there a tiny shred of need to say something so blatantly obvious? Nope, no there isn't.

I don't know if it's other parents trying to digress their lack of sleep on others or it makes them feel better knowing that their suffering will be shared soon. Maybe it's single/non parents trying to brag about how they can sleep until noon on Sunday if they want. But either way, shut up! 

Sorry that's harsh, but I mean it. Please shut up.

Clearly, we are fully aware that infants, babies, and toddlers tend to wake up at all hours of the night. Clearly, we are fully aware that we will be less able to lie in bed (like right now) for as long as possible. That comes along with the whole idea of raising a human. Bottom line, we know! And if you say it to us or anyone else, we are only going to be annoyed by your very being (probably delete your FB comments on otherwise positive and cute pictures) and I'm going to leave SMH. Not angry.

We were at a party around the 4th and a good friend, father of two, caught us just after witnessing a similar conversation. He said it best as he came up mimicking shaking someone and said "don't you just love the positive opinions out of everyone? Don't you just want to tell them to shut the fuck up? I wanted to strangle every person that tried to scare me or enlighten me by attempting to take away from the greatest moment in my life. There's nothing like having your first and raising them every hour of the day - no matter what time it is. It's your baby! You made that! Just start telling people to bite it." And he walked away shaking his head.

So for the record, I understand I will be sleeping less, MUCH less in the coming days, months, years. I kinda signed up for that when deciding to recreate. I just don't need to be told about it like I didn't. The challenge is to really think about if a parent-to-be, whether 1 month pregnant or 10, is not aware of that fact they will be tired soon before shedding your eternal wisdom upon them.

Again, not angry, not even a little bit, just trying to make us all better people by following two tried and true parental pieces of advice:

1) Think before you speak.

2) If you don't have anything nice to say, bite it.

Father tip #1 and not even a father ... YET!

Happy Sunday,

Marshy